Something Different; A Story From Anonymous

Today’s post is a little different… someone asked if they could write about something for this blog, and obviously I said yes. Yall are so amazing, and I am so blessed to have people constantly texting, emailing, and dming me from all over the country every week. Because this blog isn't for me, its for you! So welcome to Stories By You. Our newest section of the blog. If you or someone you know would like to write something and be heard, please email me and we will have it edited and posted for you. Whether or not you want your name on it is your choice. I hope you enjoy it!

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There are so many social standards that are difficult to keep up with, and a lot of people make it seem like it’s easy to eventually stop trying and accept yourself for who you are. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works for everyone. People, including me, try to tell ourselves that we are beautiful and that we don't need to look a certain way to fit in with society, but at the same time feel like we’re still not enough.

I have tried so hard to love myself and my body… it’s just really hard. A common way societal standards are classified is into two categories: “ugly/unattractive” and “pretty/attractive”. But what about the in-between? I for some reason think it’s easier to be happier when you are considered “ugly” because you know that people will accept you for you, and not what you look like. “Pretty” people I feel like have more trouble with that because people see them for their looks and not their personality. When you’re in the middle, you’re not “ugly” and you know it, but you’re also not “pretty”- you’re just “meh”. Take me, for example. I am athletic, and decent looking, but not decent enough for someone to look at me and think “Oh, wow, she’s attractive,” or “She’s really pretty.” And even though no one likes to admit it, looks do matter in a relationship. They’re not the biggest part (and they differ from person to person), but if you’re not attracted to your significant other, why are you with them? They may have a great personality and that’s wonderful, but that doesn’t mean you have to date them. It sounds mean but think about it. When you are looking around and you don't find anyone in the room attractive, you don't sit and think you would want to be in a relationship with anyone. It depends on how well you know the people around you, but usually that's how it is.

When you're not "ugly", but also not "pretty", it's harder to accept yourself because you feel like you could be "better" while knowing you're also "better" than others. That sounds harsh, but I bet a lot of people can understand. Society creates so many standards and "guidelines" for how you should look (women especially), so it kind of creates an unrealistic expectation for a lot of people.

That being said, I know I am dealing with confidence issues, but I am slowly working on my body image and positivity, and just wanted to share my sort of perspective on this topic. If someone doesn't like you for the way that you look, they're not the person for you. I hope that anyone who sees this will take a second and realize that it's not about fitting into society, it's about being what your ideal body is, and accepting you for you.